You already know who we have gathered here to discuss:
One Taylor Allison Swift. The woman who wrote the words: “you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest.” But who also wrote the lyric: “Spelling is fun!”
Allora, she has range. She can be both beautiful and also maybe the worst dressed woman in America? She is the new president of the Hot Blondes Who Can’t Dress club. (Sorry, Heidi Klum!)
I understand that part of Taylor’s brand is being accessible. She doesn’t want to parade around like the billionaire that she is and risk losing her “girl-next-door” familiarity. The issue is that there are a million and one ways to feel attainable without jeopardizing your ability to look great.
At this present time I do not have all the money in the world. I maintain that this fact may change. But as it stands, I am a budget girlie. I am rolling $60 deep at the TJ Maxx and I still look more expensive than Taylor. I am wearing and re-wearing the same jeans, t-shirts, sweaters, and jackets that I’ve had for years and I am making even my oldest pieces look more expensive than Taylor is making her circle skirts look. The main issue I have with it is that she looks so….cheap. These outfits feel off the rack in the wrong way.
And it’s important to point out that this isn’t “Taylor’s fault”— she certainly has a professional on staff who is pulling for her and dressing her. She presumably has people for everything. I have yet to see a clip of Taylor Swift surrounded by a security team of less than 5. Her publicist, who’s actual name is “Tree”, is almost always within a yard of Taylor. She has assistants for, well, most likely everything. And moreover, she has executive assistants who manage the assistants. And then managers who manage them. There is a corporation-sized machine navigating her personal whereabouts alone.
So you’re telling me, with all of these people in every room, no one is stopping her from walking out like this:
Yes, she wore that outside. She wore this outfit that can only be described as a tree costume from Spirit Halloween. Complete with trunk and greenery.
What is going on?
This feels like a great time to point out that this is Taylor’s stylist:
Mr. Joseph Casselll. I’m sure he just has a heart of gold, bless him.
If years of being even just vaguely aware of Ryan Murphy has taught me one thing it’s that gay men in their 40’s and 50’s love to see beautiful women in beautiful gowns. They love a sensible bag with a sensible shoe. They love a classy lady!!!
Again, bless him. I would sooner become a nudist— but this isn’t about me!
There is definitely a desire to do a 90’s thing; I love that they’re working with source material, but again, the styling is so off. The proportions are all wrong, the clothes look cheap- what is happening?
For example, I understand they’ve been watching a lot of Friends:
Rachel looks professional, mature, and still really feminine. Taylor looks…. confused, unsure of where she is going: the office? the club? wade fishing? If I was comparing anyone else to Rachel Greene I would have to point out her obvious advantages: a huge wardrobe budget, a wardrobe team, professional tailors fitting everything to her. But Taylor has those same advantages! And yet her skirt is giving Aeropostle and her boots are giving Fashion Nova x Dick’s Sporting Goods.
I’m sure each individual item she is wearing here retails in the $500+ family, but when it’s clumsily put together- what’s the point?
I have fantasies about Taylor becoming a fashion darling. She could be sitting front row at Jacquemes. She could be wearing vintage MiuMiu. My favorite Instagram account right now, @youbelonginthis, does an incredible job of photoshopping Taylor into looks we could only dream of. Some favorites:
Forgive me while I pour one out for what could have been. These are all cool-girl looks. The girl wearing these looks loves getting dressed, she loves looking cool and fashion-forward and experimenting. Taylor is just not that girl.
She’s never going to be a “fashion girlie”. She’s never going to dress like Rihanna, or Zendaya. But there is a way for her to look cool, youthful and expensive. She could be wearing jeans and t-shirts and look amazing. This is the 90’s vibe she should be going for:
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