But who will get Lauren Sanchez in the divorce?

+ cigarettes are a prop

We have a high society snub! Today we’re covering the Katy Perry/ Orlando Bloom breakup rumors that have Jeff Bezos at the center. Plus, the only song I’m listening to right now, and are you using an adult binky???? be honest!

Katy Perry is having a bad year.

Lauren Sanchez, Jeff Bezos, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom fresh off of Jeff’s Yacht (below)

First, she put out the most horrendous attempt at a “girl power” anthem, which genuinely would have been more successful as a satire. Then, she puts out a bad album full of songs produced by a known sexual abuser (yes, the girl power song is on that album! imagine!). Finally, because enough is never enough, she goes on the Herstory making all-female Uber ride to space for 11 glorious minutes.

And we all know how that went.

Everyone was ridiculed for this empty and transparent attempt at… something, but Katy was the #1 offender, because she couldn’t help but be painfully annoying about it.

She talked about “learning STEM”, as if it’s a language? And reading about String Theory to prepare– as if that was going to come up? She talked about how important it was to do this...still unclear on what the “this” is, but she definitely feels like she did something.

Katy Perry doing something!

To top it off, Katy spent those 11 minutes singing and holding up a daisy (her daughter is named Daisy) instead of, I don’t know, taking in the fact that you’re in space? Looking out a window? Shouldn’t you be ‘doing STEM’ right now?

I will not let Gale off the hook for this, but Katy took it to a degree that I will never be able to look past.

The mastermind behind this space jaunt was Jeff Bezos’ very own Blue Origin Baby Mama, Lauren Sanchez.

Lauren, who maybe you recognize from the bow on Jeff’s yacht, is marrying the Amazon man in Venice, Italy, and it looks like Katy is no longer on the guest list.