The wine: extortion, the food: plastic, my outfit: very matrix.
I’m drunk in the airport wearing a black turtleneck, black leggings, black boots, and a black trench coat that I bought during what was probably some kind of episode 1 hour ago on Broadway.
When I say that I am drunk, I mean that I am drinking $22 lukewarm merlot out of a plastic Pepsi cup with a lid and straw. And when I say “with a lid and straw” I am admitting to you that I did not throw away those things to sip from the cup, as my mother did. I love a straw. Fun fact about me: I am a spiller.
I’m on my way to Europe with my mother, which is the chicest thing I have done in years. We will be in Barcelona by morning- an incredible sentence I will be saying at least thrice more before it expires.
My mom and I have been fantasizing about a big European trip together since I was a teenager. We used to say that we would go ‘when we both have boyfriends’. The idea was that it would be a couples trip with us and our boyfriends that didn’t exist yet. The irony is that we now both have boyfriends— actually, my mom got married last year so she has a husband— but they were not invited.
We packed lightly so that we can shop to our hearts content while here. We also packed things that we’re comfortable “leaving behind” should we shop so much that we need to make more room in our suitcases. Now, in theory what we have done here makes perfect sense: packed lightly, willing to let go of things to make space etc. But, this is actually a terrible idea. What we’ve really done is pack things that we dislike so much that we’re willing to throw them away in a foreign country, and not much else.
I can’t wait to wake up in Barcelona and realize that I have forced myself into a position that requires shopping for necessity, or ‘errands’, on my vacation.
The only thing left to do is fall asleep, but I am of course transfixed by the most beautiful couple I have ever seen. I can’t wait to get to Spain so that I can stare at the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, until my view gets blocked by the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.
The couple is seated across the row from me and have maybe 3 pores between them. The woman has more hair tucked behind her ear than I do on my whole head. Even though I haven’t heard their voices, I know they’re not American because the man is drinking whole milk from a cow.
The other thing distracting me is the fact that the woman directly in front of me is already sleeping so soundly that it’s starting to feel passive aggressive. Like, we get it. You’re going to be more rested than us, and therefore have less jet lag, and therefore are having a superior time. How cool for you.
Well, goodnight all. I’ll be in Barcelona by the morning, and will be off my regular posting schedule so that I can clothe myself.
I’m keeping up @rodeobreak but the newsletter is taking a pause until I’m back. I hope you liked this first edition of Hi From Me. If you liked it, let me know. If you didn’t like it, keep that to yourself I’m on vacation.
Thanks for coming to the Rodeo XOXO
Have fun Alexander :)))